Question about Karma/Dharma
I have been studying Bhaj Govindam through Acharya Shunya's videos and post Satsang 10 (where she talks about her desires as a mother) I have this question -
Let's say it's a parent's desire that their kids look after them in old age and that the kid always obeys them even if they don't agree with parent's behaviour and so on... The question is - that if the kid chooses not to do that are they accumulating bad karma?
How does Dharma (duty as a kid) intertwine with Karma in this example?
Can someone please enlighten me, thank you in advance!
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This is also very relevant to my life circumstances for many years now, and Sadhvi Ishani's reply has been very helpful. I have tended to spend too much energy at my expense helping my declining, elder loved ones to have so many things they desire. It's involved too much self sacrifice from me and has taken a toll on my own health beyond what would be just fulfilling dharmic responsibilities.
I thought it was part of making their final years the best they could be and feeling that someone not only has their back (now I see as the dharma part) but also goes the extra miles to smooth their mindscape as much as possible during their final years and days (now I see as often crossing the line and serving their vasanas).
I have really struggled with meeting my needs during what must have been literally thousands of situations when I knew that doing so would cause some kind of discomfort to my family member. It's been too much, but I will say I feel I have also gained great peace knowing I did all that I could, never questioning that, and always being full of gratefulness for having had the chance to be so close to them in their final years.
Since Acharya Shunya came into my view, especially this fall/winter, I've found that being a caregiver, at least in my family, is now a profound lesson in vasanas. It can be very hard to separate making their journey easier from satisfying their vasanas. There's often a spectrum there and it's just as hard to catch where the slippery slope begins with another as with oneself. In fact maybe they are the same slippery slope! Seeing how vasanas make the end of life that much harder inspires to me stay on this path and just quietly slip away some day without wanting anything at the earth plane level.
Interestingly, my mother-in-law was the complete opposite, never asking for anything, more content with less. She was not a draining experience at all beyond the dharmic needs.
So all this comes back around to what must be the dharmic responsibility of the person being cared for to not impose their vasanic needs on their caregiver but to let go of those gracefully. In reality, that will probably look like lessoning the vasanic grasping to some degree relative to what it was before needing the help.
Sorry I wasn't too succinct here. Big topic for me!