Vedic Community Forum

Jai Maa!

I arrived here recently and have been unsure how to introduce myself. I'll try to keep it simple. I'm in my 60s and have experienced throughout my samsara-consumed life many spiritual breadcrumbs. I've always had wide-ranging curiousity about spiritual and worldly things and have found it impossible to join any one community, even when I've been aware of my need for it. I would ask myself whether it was just my ego blocking me, but it seemed that it was a combination of that along with the time/place/people not being right. So I've coasted along on my own, seeking and learning where my attention is drawn. I first came across Acharya Shunya last spring. I wanted to learn more about rishikas and wondered whether there were any female gurus I could benefit from, so I Googled that and found her. I bought Sovereign Self and watched short bits of videos, but about that time I needed to attend to a health crisis in my family, so I wasn't able to pick up this thread again at all until this fall. Besides the family health crisis that has been resolved, I'm a caregiver for an elderly family member, so the strains on my time, energy and space are significant and have been for many years now. I'm still reading Sovereign Self, but slowly, having also started incorporating material in the videos and printouts. As I spend more time in this general space, I feel more wholeness and lightness of being and relief beginning to emerge, like I'm being knit back together, while also recognizing what a long way I have to go. My roving mind is making the Navadaya practice a touchstone. I drew the #7 Diyo card. It was a perfect fit (!). I've often brushed aside those breadcrumbs I mentioned because these were not the kind of spiritual experiences that would be acceptable in my birth family culture. One of my stickiest egoic points is fearing and disliking judgement and disbelief by others of my spiritual experiences. Meanwhile, I feel my samsaric life is at a turning point in this long, recent cycle of what Acharyaji called "paying off some karmic debts," so the call to a new script fell right into place. I had already begun the Bhaja Govindam series of YouTube videos that Acharyaji referred to in her discussion of Diyo, so I've continued that focus. In samsaric parlance, I was blown away over the last twenty hours by Parts 12 and 13. This is an amazing group and I feel blessed to have found you and Acharya Shunya. I feel like I'm finally getting explanations I've needed my whole life that also contain my diverse experiences, and in a safe space for receiving them. I hope this attempt at an introduction makes some sense. Jai Maa Jai Guru Dev