Offering everything to Ishvara
Jai Maa everyone,
Shunyaji requested in our last class that we let her know, in the Forum, how the practice was affecting us.
I am so grateful for this practice of offering everything to the divine. It has bee no less than miraculous for me. After many years of feeling like I'd had a good life, but if this was all there was, then I was done at any time that is was my time.
This practice has gifted me with a sense of peace and love that I had forgotten. And it is beyond the ego doing it. EVen this offering is just a step toward the Divine which my ego sometimes resists. But when I surrender and let go of even being able to do it but just offer anyway, it has begun to bless me with peace.
This morning I had a raging sore throat, but today is market day and I go there to get food for my household and my daughter's household. At 5 am I thought I don't want to go, but I don't want to abandon this duty. By 5:30 when I got up as I offered it to Ishvara, I felt able to go and had a delightful time, even not feeling sick for that 1.5 hours.
Blessing food has become the most delightful experience of peace settling around me and even gentle happiness as I offer it to Ishvara. I am surprised and so grateful to feel this peace descend.
Full discolosure: when I was listening to class my ego was going crazy, saying what? you think I'm going to offer this to Ishvara when I am the one who is doing? For 18 hours or so I was worried I would not be able to do this practice there was so much resistance. But I decided to persevere and now my ego is softening. I am beginning to have glimpses of, of course Ishvara is the doer and of course I would be grateful to be along for this ride. And oh, what bliss this practice is.
My current prayer or offering to Ishvara , beyond offering everything all day, as often as I remember, is the ego that still wants to think somehow it is doing something.... but I just keep reminding myself - who is the doer? to whom do I offer this?
Thank you Shunyajii for carrying this teaching forward for all of us. The relief is real. The peace is real. --- Jai Guru Dev.
This is exactly how I felt before finding Acharya Shunya: "After many years ... if this was all there was, then I was done at any time that is was my time." Let the river keep flowing ~~~~~ I'll still be done but more ready for a more inspired transition.